2 posts tagged “ayet”
The first person I cried to at work about my breakup was her and she cried with me, she hugged me until I stopped sobbing. I've gotten quite fond of her and I've always thought of her as my little sister. I'm really gonna miss the everyday outbursts, the relentless banterings after work and her super panic mode whenever there is a presentation.
Over wine last night, she confessed that she looked up to me and that someday she wanted to be like me. That really touched me and it really warmed my heart. I never knew that I was high up on a pedestal. It actually humbled me because I feel that I still have a lot to learn and she was learning in my footsteps. It now gives me a new resolve to work better and harder.
After my breakup, most of my energy is devoted to work now, it's my escape from loneliness. Although I can honestly say that I still am not in my full working efficiency, but in those hours... I can numb myself from the pain.
Having Ayet in the office also helps me forget, she's my reality checker. It won't be the same without her around but 6 months can also whiz by just like that! I hope she does well on the boards, I'm pretty sure she will. :-)
Last Friday, my officemates and my bosses decided to take me out to a movie because they wanted to cheer
me up. I was touched. Even though there was nothing I wanted more than to curl up on my bed and cry, I gave in. We watched Indiana Jones. I really didn't enjoy the movie because although it was action-packed, the plot wasn't that good and I found the ending a little bit corny. Plus maybe it was because I wasn't really paying attention and my mind was wandering elsewhere. It's been almost a week now and I'm just trying to get through each day. I try to forget when I'm at work but it must be my eyes that betray me, there's a sadness in them that no amount of makeup can conceal. It's so easy to act that everything's ok... that I'm ok but I'm trying to be strong and I know I'll be able to find the strength to move on. At dinner after the movie, I had eggs Benedict. It was the first real meal I had. I have been skipping meals, I know it's a big no-no. I can't seem to get my appetite back yet. The talk during dinner lightened up my mood and for a moment I was back to my old self again.
I had constant communication with him during the week, sometimes he called and sometimes we chatted. I am
glad that we can still maintain the friendship. I know it's never going to be the same again but I value what we still have. It was great hearing from him. I think that he's happy. I do miss him a lot. I miss us. But destiny chose to lead us to a different path and I am beginning to accept that. I still have sleepless nights and I still dread getting up from my bed but each day brings me toward the day that I'll finally feel better and that's something I want to look forward to.
